"Every country has it own set of table manners or etiquettes. These etiquettes may or may not differ from country to country. But it is always good to follow a standard set of etiquettes at a formal occasion or at a formal dinner.
I am really sorry to say this but we, Indians, are little lousy when it comes to table etiquettes. Its not that we are adamant but most of us are unaware of these table etiquettes. We must always remember that Brits ruled our country for 150 long years and we should have adopted certain good things from them. Anyway, better late than never! Brits are known for their manners, etiquettes and punctuality all over the world. They pay lot of attention to your body language, your behaviour, your actions at the table and your table manners. In short, they care for every damn thing that we don't!
Some of us might say that we dont care. Or lets just be 'us' and not behave over-expensive.
Since the world is coming closer, most of us have to fly to the western countries and be with the Whites for various occasions. At such times, it is very important to follow basic manners as you are representing your country and obviously you don't want to spoil it's name. Since they judge you on your manners, you really have to be well mannered. Manners are not something you are going to learn in a flight to UK. You need to cultivate the habit. Only then you can be a well mannered person representing a proud nation.
Lets have a look at various etiquettes and manners we Indians have to know.
Social Etiquettes:
1.
Punctuality: Brits value people who are punctual. Not just UK, you go to any damn country; punctuality is appreciated everywhere.
2.
Introduction: "Hello, I am ___" is the most common way of introducing yourself and works well on every kind of occasion. When someone else introduces himself/herself to you, the most appropriate reply would be "Pleased to meet you!".
3.
Greeting: You simply do not greet people by hugging or kissing them unless they are your close friends or relatives. A formal handshake is recommended. If you are the host, you can go Indian by greeting your guests with 'Namaste' unless someone initiates a handshake. If someone offers a handshake and you just go 'Namaste', it is considered to be rude. Be Indian but dont be a rude Indian!
4.
Dress: It is okay to be casually dressed while meeting your close friends and buddies. Follow the dress code if mentioned by the hots/hostess. If you are the host, you may or may not have a dress code. For a formal dinner party or for an interview dinner, formal attire is recommended. It is always best to be dressed formally for occasions involving value people. More information on dressing, you may visit
LazygulRox and I am sure she will help you out and answer all your queries.
5.
Other basic rules: Even if the invitation says "Drop in any time", always visit after giving a call and making sure that the host is ready to have you as a guest. On receiving the invitation, it is good to call the host/hostess and confirm with them if you will be available or not. You may also notify them about your meal preference, if any, so that they can arrange a meal that you can relish. If you cannot make it on the decided time, it is good to call in advanced and let the host know by what time they should expect you.
Open the door for other people before you walk out or walk in. Do not over react to some issue or talk loudly. Stay calm, peaceful and have a great time.
Dining Etiquettes:
1. The cutlery arrangement on your table for a formal dinner will look like this:
picture courtesy: http://www.prettylittlesweetthings.com/
Study the above arrangement well before you attend the dinner party because, obviously, you don't want to make a fool of yourself.
Dinner always starts from using the outermost set of cutlery moving inwards i.e. from soup spoon and salad fork to the dinner knife and dinner fork.
The following image will help you clear out the funda of moving inwards form outside :
picture courtesy: http://protocol411.com/dining-royalty/
2.You may sit after the host sits or when the host asks you to. At an interview dinner, wait for the interviewer to sit first and once he is settled, you may follow him unless he asks you to sit.
3. Start by placing the napkin on your lap. As the picture above suggests: 'Work from outside in'. Follow this basic rule. Don't get baffled looking at the huge number of cutlery arranged on the table. Stay away from the cutlery dilemma.
4. Soup is served in the soup bowl. Allow it to cool down as sipping in hot soup and then trying to spit it out is a total NO-NO.Use a soup spoon on your extreme right to scoop out the soup along the edge of the bowl to make sure it does not drip while having it. Soup spoon should never be put completely inside your mouth. Sip in the soup from the
edge of the spoon and not the point or tip of the spoon. Make sure you do not slurp in or make noise while sipping the soup.
5. Use a salad fork to have salad. You might not have to use a knife for salad unless there are large portions of cold-cuts served. Many times, a salad knife is also there on the table.It rests to the right of your dinner knife and is smaller than the dinner knife.
6. Bread: Do not use a knife to cut the bread but use fingers to break it.
7. When butter is served, use the knife on your table to take some portion from the butter dish on your plate. Then apply it on the bread. This practice avoids the bread crumbs from mixing in the butter when it is passed over the table.
8. Knife should be held in your right hand and fork in your left and eat food off the fork(European style). Americans prefer holding it the same way, but when it comes to eating they switch the fork from left to right hand for the simple reason that we eat with our right hand. If you are left-handed, you may do the exact opposite.
9. Never put knife in your mouth. Always, use a fork to put food in out mouth. Do not lick the knife.
10. Hold the knife and fork as shown below:
picture courtesy: http://www.colourbox.com/
Use the fork to get the grip of food(eg: chicken), cut a piece using knife. Push that fork on the cut piece and then eat it off the fork. Its not good to stuff a large portion of food in your mouth.
11. Hold the spoon and fork as described below:
Fork in your left hand and spoon in right. Use a fork to push food on you spoon and then use the spoon to eat the food.
12. Hold white wine glass from its stem while the red wine glass by holding its bowl with fingers from below:
Red Wine White Wine
13. Once any cutlery is lifted from the table, never place it back on the table. Always keep the used cutlery on you plate. If you are not finished and taking a break from eating, place them like this:
picture courtesy: http://www.elegantwoman.org
OR
picture courtesy: http://www.forbes.com
Make sure both the utensils are placed in a manner with handles pointing 8 o'clock and 4 o'clock.
14. When you are finished eating, place the cutlery as shown below:
picture courtesy: http://blogs.kqed.org/
OR
picture courtesy:http://www.elegantwoman.org
OR
picture courtesy:http://www.forbes.com
Both the utensils should be placed in a manner such that the handles are pointing 4 o'clock. Make sure the blade of the knife is inwards.
Some people insist of crossing their cutlery after finishing the food, but it is considered to be a bad practice since while clearing the plates, chances of cutlery sliding off the plate are high and the person who will be clearing plates will be
embarrassed.
15. If you are unsure about anything, ask your neighbour softly about it.
16. Do not pick food from your neighbour's plate.
17. You may serve yourself a drink; it is better to ask your neighbours first before serving yourself.
18. Say 'Thank you." when someone serves you.
19. Do not lick your fingers at the table.
20. Do not carve your teeth with finger nails.
21. Do not use the napkin or serviette to blow nose. It is only and only for dabbing lips.
22. Do not burp.
23. Cough or sneeze by covering your mouth with a napkin not the serviette . Say "Excuse me." immediately.
24. Before leaving, appreciate the host/hostess by saying:
"Thank you for the wonderful dinner." OR "Thank you for being a wonderful host tonight." OR "Thank you for having us over for dinner." (It applies even if you did not have a wonderful time or even if the dinner was a flop)
25. Make a habit of using the phrases like "Have a nice day." , "Good evening." or "Good night" at appropriate times.
26. If you are at a buffet dinner, above rules apply along with few others. Do not roam around with a used plate. Leave the used plate at the table and it will be cleared off. For every serving, use a fresh plate.
27. After you serve yourself, do not leave the serving spoon in the vessel but place it on the plate kept on side.
28. Do not overload your dish with food such that the food spills out.
29. When you take noodles, make sure they are properly in your plate and are not hanging of the edges of your plate.
30. If you happen to drop the napkin/serviette, pick it up if it is within your reach. If not, you may ask for a new one.
31. Use a toothpick to remove the stuck food particles but by covering your mouth.
32. Do not talk while chewing your food. Chew food with your mouth closed. Do not stuff lot of food in your mouth. Food is going to be on your plate, its not running away anywhere.
33. Do not reach a drink with food in your mouth. Swallow it and then have a sip of your drink.
34. Do not eat in a hurry. Its just an ill manner. At the same time, make sure you are not so slow that rest all have finished eating and you are the only one relishing food. Maintain a proper pace.
34. If you happen to take more than you can eat on your plate, say "The food is amazing but I am full." or just excuse yourself for that. Try not to leave food behind on the plate.
35. Be confident. Thats the way to go.
I know most of you will get annoyed with this list of manners and prefer hogging on food the same Indian style.
What I recommend is, follow the rules and behave accordingly. Once you leave the premises and are returning back, do this:
picture courtesy:whiteindianhousewife.com
You will feel better!
